Shelly’s Story: Breaking the Silence on Perimenopause and Mental Health

Introduction:

Sharing personal stories about mental health struggles was once considered a taboo subject, but as we evolve as a society, we recognize the importance of breaking down barriers and fostering open conversations. In this blog post, we introduce Shelly Eve, who bravely recounts her 15-year perimenopausal journey, candidly discussing her mental health challenges and the connection between hormonal changes and emotional well-being. By sharing her story, Shelly contributes to a larger movement of raising awareness and empowering others to address mental health during significant life transitions.

Shelly’s Story

This is an incredibly deep and complex story for me. I’ve been through so much, and I truly hope that sharing my experiences can offer insight to others who may be going through similar challenges.

When I was around 40, my mental health challenges coincided with the onset of perimenopause. I do believe that early menopause was a significant trigger for these struggles. Looking back, I see how closely my mental health issues were tied to perimenopause. This transitional phase, which often starts in your 40s but can begin earlier or later, involves significant fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone levels. My menstrual period did not stop until I was 55 years old, so for 15 years, I was dealing with these hormonal changes and symptoms, including mood swings, anxiety, and depression. For me, these changes seemed to amplify everything I was already dealing with.

During this time, I began experiencing a whirlwind of symptoms—rapid thoughts, mood swings, and relentless insomnia. My energy levels surged so intensely that I’d find myself waking up at 2 a.m. to go for a long run, never feeling exhausted. Even simple activities like shopping with friends became a challenge, as I walked so fast, they struggled to keep up. Everyone urged me to slow down, but then there were times when I felt completely drained, lacking motivation and falling into deep depression.

It wasn’t until I sought guidance from my pastor and later consulted with psychiatrists that I began to understand the deeper issues at play. The hormonal changes of perimenopause seemed to bring past traumas to the surface—memories of being kidnapped by my father as a child, witnessing his abuse of my mother, and the haunting experiences from my work as a prison officer. It felt as though perimenopause had intensified all my existing struggles, magnifying the emotional and psychological burdens I’d carried for years.

Perimenopause was a confusing time for me. The hormonal fluctuations during this phase affected my mental health, making it hard to distinguish between perimenopausal symptoms and other mental health conditions. Managing these symptoms effectively required a combination of lifestyle changes, medication, and sometimes hormone therapy. It’s important to work closely with healthcare providers to find the best approach for your needs.

One major challenge I faced was the inconsistency and misdiagnosis within the healthcare system. It was incredibly frustrating to receive different opinions from various psychiatrists, each suggesting something different. One doctor prescribed Prozac, Another prescribed carbamazepine, a treatment for seizures. I was diagnosed as Bipolar, another said that I had a seasonal Bipolar condition.  I felt like I was just a file on a desk, and getting a proper diagnosis seemed elusive. If I had been diagnosed correctly from the start, I believe I could have avoided a lot of the pain and confusion I went through. It wasn’t until much later, with a combination of medical advice, personal research, and support from my community, that I started to understand what was really happening.

I had different personas, like “Shelly” and “Maxine.” Maxine is like my alter ego that comes out during mood swings. My husband would often say he just wanted Shelly back because Maxine was not herself—she was more energetic, erratic, and sometimes aggressive. This strained my relationship with my husband because he never knew which version of me, he would get on any given day. It was really tough for both of us.

Over the years, I’ve learned to manage my triggers and symptoms better. One of the biggest lessons was learning to say “no” and put myself first. I used to focus too much on helping others and neglected my own well-being. This led to a lot of stress and imbalance. Now, I try to understand my triggers, like how certain times of the month or year affect me. I prepare for these times, stay in a supportive environment, and practice self-care. I’ve also become more attuned to my body and mind, knowing when I need to slow down and when I need to reach out for help.

Dealing with the stigma around mental health, especially here in Bermuda, has been difficult. People often don’t understand what you’re going through and can be quick to label you as “crazy.” Despite this, I knew I had to keep going for myself and my family. My faith played a big role in giving me strength, along with the unwavering support from my pastor, husband, and a few close friends. Their support made all the difference. Now, I want to share my story, so others don’t feel alone or ashamed. If I can help even one person feel okay about talking about their struggles, it’s all worth it.

I want people to know that it’s okay to seek help and talk about what you’re going through. Don’t let fear of judgment stop you from getting the support you need. For those who have loved ones dealing with mental health issues, patience and understanding can make a huge difference.

To those struggling with misdiagnosed issues: don’t give up. Keep pushing forward and continue your own investigative work. Use every resource available to you, from medical professionals to support groups and personal research. Your perseverance and self-advocacy can lead to the right diagnosis and treatment. My journey is a testament to the power of resilience and determination in the face of overwhelming challenges.

11 thoughts on “Shelly’s Story: Breaking the Silence on Perimenopause and Mental Health”

  1. All the best to Shelly as she continues her journey of self-discovery. It’s actually a journey that we are all on (whether we realize it or not) so, hopefully, she will not feel alone.

      1. See and reading this blog that my aunt Shelly has shared with the world gives me hope for her recovery. This is an extremely bold decision she has made to share her story and I pray that this path of self intervention brings closure to this difficult journey that both her and all of her loves ones that have been supporting her are going through. We Love You

    1. GM Shelly. Thank you for sharing your story, I’m certain it wasn’t easy. Wishing you God’s blessings as you continue to heal my friend 🙏 ❤️

  2. What a great write-up, you should be a journalist! That is only the introduction to Volume 1 of my13 books. Stay tuned!!

    Love always Shel

  3. Thank you for sharing your journey as we all have something to be concerned about. May we all continue to be Our Brothers/ Sisters keeper. Keep Moving Forward, Be Encouraged as you have shared

  4. Thank you for sharing this story. It is funny how we never know what someone is dealing with, so it is important to always accept people where they are. Too often we hide in shame. May this piece bring strength and awareness.

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