Cancer: The Unexpected Path to Transformation

Cancer can be a devasting diagnosis, but for Petek Ozdemir, it was an unexpected teacher, that forced her to slow down and prioritize her own needs and self-care. Join us as we delve into Petek’s inspiring journey with Cancer.

Petek’s Story

First of all, I must say that I love my cancer. It may sound strange, but my illness taught me invaluable lessons. Let me share my story.I lost my mom to breast cancer when she was just 54 years old, and I was 27 at the time. Her death was a massive shock to our family. Doctors and everyone around us warned my sister and me that breast cancer could be genetic, and we needed to be vigilant. We diligently kept up with our regular examinations and mammograms. I had my first mammogram at 35 years old. I read extensively about cancer, and my sister and I made sure to get all recommended tests, including one for genetic predisposition. Surprisingly, the test results were negative; cancer was not genetic in our family.

Three years ago, my sister was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer at the age of 47. A year later, I was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer. My tumor was tiny, about 5 millimeters in size. I was fortunate because my cancer was small and hadn’t spread to my lymph nodes. As a result, I did not need chemotherapy and underwent six months of radiotherapy without any side effects. My sister, however, had to undergo a mastectomy and chemotherapy.

My real journey began after my treatments ended. Once the constant presence of doctors and supportive friends receded, I found myself alone with my thoughts and feelings. I began to reflect deeply on my experience, questioning why this happened to me and what I could have done differently. Knowing my cancer wasn’t genetic and that I was careful about maintaining a healthy lifestyle, I wondered why cancer had still found its way into my body.

I was deeply shocked to learn that genetics account for only about 1% of breast cancer cases. Lifestyle factors, including diet and physical activity, contribute around 5%, while the remaining risk is influenced by psychological and emotional factors. It’s often said by doctors that those who suppress their anger and prioritize others over themselves, often neglecting their own needs, may be at a higher risk.

I realized that I had been living this way—constantly putting others first, striving to make everyone happy, and rarely expressing my own desires or frustrations. I was always the person who would do anything for my family, even when I was exhausted. For example, if my son asked for something late at night, I would always get up to help him, regardless of how tired I was. This behavior led to feelings of resentment and anger, which I never expressed.

Eventually, I had a serious conversation with my family, telling them that I would no longer allow myself to be used and that I needed to start thinking about my own well-being. Setting boundaries was challenging, but over time, my husband and sons adapted, and I learned to say no when necessary.

Reflecting on my past, I saw that I had always been a perfectionist, striving to excel in everything to gain love and acceptance. This mindset followed me into adulthood and into my career as an architect, a field I chose due to others’ expectations rather than my own desires. I often overworked myself, even during holidays, to meet these expectations.

After my cancer diagnosis, I reevaluated my life. I realized that striving for perfection and constantly seeking approval was detrimental to my happiness. Now, I prioritize living in the moment and caring for myself. I am grateful that I only needed radiotherapy, which I handled without side effects.

Despite the challenges, I have discovered positivity and strength within myself. I am deeply grateful for the wake-up call that cancer has provided, reminding me to be kind and loving to myself.

I am now retired but occasionally work at our family architecture firm. I don’t make strict plans for the future, believing that living in the present is more fulfilling. My sons are thriving in their academic pursuits, and I cherish my time with them. I play tennis and embrace the joy in my life, grateful for every moment.

Why shouldn’t I be happy?